Etiquette on Giving Wedding Gifts
There are few if any hard and fast rules about giving wedding gifts to couples who are getting married. Most
of the rules of etiquette apply to the bride and groom. They should not ask for monetary gifts, they should not ask for extravagant gifts, and
should certainly not indicate that they expect gifts on their invitations. Most of the etiquette rules that apply to the types of gifts that are
appropriate.
First and foremost the wedding gift should be tasteful and not an embarrassment to the bride or groom. Just
because the bride is your good friend and will be in on the joke, a shower guest should not give the bride a risqué gift that would embarrass the
other guests. A gift of lingerie is fine, but an outfit that appears to have come from a shop for strippers is not appropriate. If there is a
couple’s shower, guests should certainly not give the bride or groom gifts of underwear that will elicit off color jokes or innuendos. Because
showers are often attended by older members of the family, inappropriate gifts are simply not appreciated.
If you are close friends to the bride and groom and wish you give them an extravagant gift, you certainly
should do so, but this gift giving should be done in private. A very expensive present in front of other gift givers might make them feel
inferior and embarrassed. Some may even feel that their gift was unappreciated.
If you don’t know the couple very well but want to attend the wedding and give the happy couple a gift, you
should certainly do so. A good idea might be to check their bridal registry to find a present that the couple needs and is in a medium price
range. Spending too much money on a gift would send the wrong message. The couple might worry that you are trying to buy their friendship or
presume a relationship that doesn’t exist.
When giving a gift to a bridal couple, even if only one member is your friend, you should give a gift to the
couple, something that they can both enjoy. If you are simply friends with the bride, the wedding gift should not be personal unless you are
giving it at a shower. The best idea is to always give wedding gifts that both have agreed upon in a registry. If you do choose something off the
list, make sure that you consider the needs of the couple rather than the individual.
Giving wedding gifts isn’t rocket science. With a few simple rules, you can’t go wrong. Although etiquette
isn’t in fashion anymore, weddings are formal events and he rules do apply.
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